Trial of my faith

This is a quite a unique photo for this blog. First because I am in the picture (usually I'm hiding behind the camera so as not to appear in any photo-op); second because our dog Molly is featured and little did we know two months later she'd be living on a ranch herding cattle and other animals; and third because I am in this picture and it is taken in the mountains after hiking a bit of a distance. That alone seemed like a miracle to me on that memorial day outing.
One morning in January I got up with Brad to get him ready for work and noticed that my hand wasn't working like it should. I have had arthritis flare ups in my hand before but this time it flared and never left. It was painful. Then the next week I went to get out of bed and I couldn't walk. My feet didn't work; my legs didn't work; I hurt all the way to my bones. I was scared and mad and upset: how was I supposed to take care of my baby who was only 6 months old and still needed more of me than I could give at that time? How was I supposed to take care of my older two boys? I could barely pick Lane up let alone hold Wy and Conner on my lap. It was the saddest day ever that I told them I couldn't hold them, that mommy's legs hurt too bad for them to sit there.  I joked with friends and family about old age hitting so soon but deep down I was just scared.
Then in February, about a month after all this began, I was trying to clean what little I could manage and I kept having the same thought: trial of your faith, trial of your faith. I felt some reassurance in regard to events in our family as Brad was going through interviews for different jobs and thought that the reference was made in relation to that.
As the months progressed and I didn't feel any better and couldn't really walk or do much of anything, I grew angry. Where was the answer to all of this? The many doctors I visited all had an idea but each avenue we tried really brought no relief, a brief repast from the pain but really no relief.  Then I finally turned to the Lord. I gave him my fears, my anger, my faith and I told Him that if this was how my body was going to be from now on that I was okay with that but asked that I be able to do the little things that were important: take care of my children, care for my home, enjoy life and have some peace and comfort. Articles from the Ensign, testimonies and lessons at church and finally I understood that what I thought months ago was an impression for Brad and his job was actually for me. That this was a trial of my faith and if I would only seek out the Lord that he would bring solace to my heart and comfort and healing to my body. I thought it was miraculous on memorial day that I was able to hike along with Brad and the boys and enjoy such a beautiful day; however it is even more miraculous that in the past month I have been able to do the things I have done with little or no pain and have been able to take care of my children, care for my home, enjoy life and have some peace and comfort.
"Ask, and it shall be given unto you; seek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you." 3 Nephi 14:7
I testify that Heavenly Father know us; he knows our trials and he knows our suffering and pain. He loves us and if we only seek his guidance and love that our burdens will be lifted.